Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
