Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you traded sex for a burrito?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize