She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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