I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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