I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
