Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
