Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They have beer where we have blood.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
