My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
