hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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