Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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