one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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