I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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