I think I died a long time ago.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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