I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
this boner is exhausting
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
