I look better un-naked...
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Green mimosas i think yes
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
