I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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