ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Do you still have your period?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
