I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
