I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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