Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize