I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
