I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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