Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo

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(239): View more from Florida

yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.

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(303): View more from Colorado

And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.

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(253): View more from Washington

He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".

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(903): View more from Texas

I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.

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(315): View more from New York

Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face

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(314): View more from Missouri

A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.

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