He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
