I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
