I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
