Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
