do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So vagazzling was a success
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
