real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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