Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
