So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
