You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize