Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
