whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Randomize
