turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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