He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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