I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
