I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
