Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
