Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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