so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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