he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize