Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
