fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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