Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
