glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
