anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
