I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
