If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
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