I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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