Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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