I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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