I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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