Plan B is the new Plan A
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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