...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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