But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
