If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
